I changed my mind. This is no longer my slice of the American Dream pie. It is now just a place for me to bitch.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

World's Best Masturbator

It's official, Tudor Rosca is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Tudor Rosca achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!

Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Tudor Rosca remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Tudor Rosca is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Tudor Rosca was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today".

This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment.

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Tudor Rosca said "my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning".


Blogger Nicholas Woodrich said...

Dennis, what's your record for a day? Last I remember it was 8.

10:14 AM

Blogger BlaineC said...

I think my record was 6 or 7. Man, after about 3 I've completely lost the desire to masturbate. Props to this guy for his dedication.

10:20 AM

Blogger BlaineC said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:20 AM

Blogger Dennis Shoup said...

It was 8, I was fourteen and had the house and my brother's collection of Playboys all to myself. I think I had hemmorages (sp?) on my Johnston after a while. Ah, my golden years.

11:03 AM


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